There are some Catholics who really get under my skin. One of them graduated from law school where she failed to distinguish herself with scholarly excellence. Still, she got her JD and earned the right to have the initials "Esq" after her name. I followed her on FB for awhile because she advocated for migrants and said she was pro-life, but when she said we should just let drug addicts die of drug overdoses and spare us their trashy lives, that was that. I have a son in recovery and his life is not trash. When you like to throw the pro-life label around, you'd better be able to wear it. If you're not in favor of protecting everyone's life, but only people you like or find acceptable, there is not much we can discuss. Such people undermine the efforts of seamless garment Catholics.
Perhaps more grating than this is that she is willing to hurl the word "murderer" at women who have had abortions. We can argue whether that is an acceptable word to use but my opinion is that if you have never fostered or adopted a child, you should take a look at yourself and ask: What have I done to promote life, aside from stand on a sidewalk and point my finger at someone I don't know?
I am not naive enough to believe that if women like this one adopted and fostered unwanted children that abortion would magically end. It wouldn't. But like the retreat master pointed out to us, it really is a stretch to say you care about saving babies if you're not willing to do the heavy lifting. I am loathe to stereotype or generalize but the three most rabid anti-abortion women I know have never had a child. One is especially bitter because she and her husband tried for years to have a baby. The other two never married. What do they all have in common? None of them fostered or adopted. They all opposed every single aspect of the Affordable Care Act and they continued to extol the praises of Donald Trump even after he incited the January 6th riot at the Capitol. I guess they figured well, yeah, he's a fascist, but he's our fascist so carry on. So what if the babies we fought so hard to bring into the world have lifelong medical problems and no health insurance? That's life.
The truth is that most people have no clue how hard it is to care for a medically fragile child. I did it and held down a full-time job, but I had the support of my husband and parents. Still, for the first year of my baby's life, the only place I went was to work. Not just anyone could care for her, and her hip spica cast made it especially difficult to take her anywhere. When it was cold out, we were housebound except for doctor's appointments because there isn't a snowsuit wide enough for a baby in a body cast. In the summer, I had to wait until the sun was down because the heat of day was just too much for that little body encased in plaster. I have met mothers who have had more than one medically complex child and not a quarter of the support I had. They are largely ignored by women like those I described above.
Medicine has advanced to the degree that babies as young as 22 weeks gestation are able to be saved. Anti-abortionists will point to this as a reason why later term abortions should especially be outlawed. Please do not interpret this as support for late-term abortion because it's not. My point is that while it's miraculous that such children can survive premature birth, it's no walk in the park to care for them. After the months they spend in NICU, these babies often require the kind of skilled care at home that only a nurse can provide. If a mother has other children or no means of support other than herself, she is essentially racing home from work to take on another job. These mothers need help, and they seldom get it or if they do, it's barely enough.
A favorite Paulo Coelho quote of mine is: The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion.
Maybe if my lawyer nemesis would put her money where her mouth is, she could have a dual positive effect. She'd do something that would actually help mothers and babies and she'd rob the pro abortion side of their demand that people mind their own business about a child they won't be raising.
I can't be my sister's keeper if I'm not her sister first.
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